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Life Skills Maximize Athletic Development
While at the Easter Bowl Championships a parent came up to me and said “You’re the Tennis Parent Bible guy, right? I have your books, but I’ve got to say, I hate everything about junior tennis. I hate the tournament directors, the insane hours, the cost of equipment, the crazy travel schedule, and the lessons are a waste of time. My daughter’s coaches aren’t teaching her a stinking thing. She just lost second round again this year!”
I politely waited for her to take a breath and we began a conversation:
Frank: “Hi… Yes, I’m Frank. What’s your name?”
Kathryn: “I’m Kathryn,” she said as she crossed her arms in front of her.
Frank: “Hi Kathryn. I have about 30 minutes before my player’s match. Can we chat for a few minutes?” Kathryn rolled her eyes, so I immediately asked, “Your daughter is obviously a very talented player to be playing the Easter Bowl. Can you think of a handful of reasons you could be grateful?”
Kathryn: “No… Not a one!” She barked.
Frank: “Kathryn, what’s your daughter’s ranking?”
Kathryn: “Oh, around 30 in the Nation.”
Frank: “Top 30 in the Country is outstanding! Isn’t that something both you and your daughter should be proud of?”
Kathryn: “I mean…I guess so.”
Frank: “Has she been offered a full-ride college scholarship?”
Kathryn: “Yes, of course! She has about a dozen schools courting her, but she is only interested in USC.”
Frank: “Now that’s something to be grateful for- a dozen D-1 Universities wanting your daughter to play for them!”
Kathryn: “Well…that’s true.”
Frank: “I bet you guys have seen some cool parts of the world as she has competed in National and ITF tennis events.”
Kathryn: “Oh yes! We’ve been throughout the country, the Caribbean, the Middle East, Canada and Europe.”
Frank: “Aren’t you grateful for that time together with your daughter?”
Kathryn: “Yes, I am… and we did have great fun on those trips.”
Frank: “Can you tell me about the life lessons learned from participating in the sport?”
Kathryn: “What do you mean?”
Frank: “You know… time management, resiliency, and organizational skills to name a few?”
Kathryn: “You’re right. There have been so many life lessons and blessings that have come from playing this game.”
Frank: “Kathryn, the healthiest of all emotions is gratitude, and in 5 minutes you just revealed so much to be grateful for… and there’s plenty more if you choose to look in the right direction.”
Kathryn: “I needed that pep talk. Can I give you a hug?”
We have all heard that sports teach life skills, but did you know the opposite is also true? Well nurtured life skills and character improves athletic potential at a quicker rate.
“Life skills improve the developmental plan which in-turns skyrocket athletic potential.”
World class coaches and parents must intentionally see life skills as essential attributes that need to be acquired, practiced, and perfected in and out of the athletic arena. Being equipped with life skills will not only improve the athlete’s competitive match performance but will inevitably have a positive effect on the sustainability of their customized developmental plans.
Obviously, well-developed life skills are highly transferable to other areas of the athletes’ lives. It is important to note that the vast majority of tennis athletes do not partake in competitive tennis as a lifelong career. However, the following list of essential life skills will last a lifetime, enabling them to evolve successfully into the next phase of their life.
Life Skills Development
Parents and coaches, I highly encourage setting aside time to increase your athlete’s mental toughness and emotional aptitude. Arrange a classroom session or non-hitting homework assignment weekly. Ask each serious-minded student to Google or YouTube, the following 20 essential life skills and draft a paragraph describing their customized developmental plan to improve each skill.
Time Management
The time management life skill is the ability to use one’s time efficiently or productively. A successful athlete with strong time management skills would organize daily, weekly, and monthly planners to assist in scheduling the development of each of the four major components (technical, athletic, mental, and emotional) essential to compete at the higher levels.
Adaptability
The adaptability life skill is being able to adjust to different situations and conditions comfortably. To get the most from your physical talent, one must be open to change. Adapting is emotional intelligence at work.
“No athlete has ever reached their full potential without learning to overcome stress,
fear, and discomfort. Life skills are essential.”
Handling Adversity
Handling adversity is a critical athletic and life skill. Competition brings hardship, drama, and suffering along with the positive attributes. Overcoming daily problems is a driving force of champions. Seeing adversity as a challenge versus a life or death crisis is vital.
Handling Stress
Stress causes physiological and mental tension. It occurs when one believes that their physical skills aren’t strong enough to meet the challenge. While some personalities stress more than others, proper preparation and a positive attitude dramatically reduce stress levels.
Perseverance
Perseverance is one’s ability to stay on course through setbacks, discouragement, injuries, and losses. It is the ability to fight stubbornly to achieve greatness.
“The most meaningful lessons come from the toughest losses…If the student is willing to listen.”
Courage
Courage is the ability to apply belief in your skills in spite of the threat at hand. A courageous athlete knows that competition in sports is to be embraced and not feared. Courage is not allowing oneself to listen to the typical noise of “What if I lose?”
Work Ethic
Work ethic is a diligent, consistent standard of conduct. Strengthening physical, mental and emotional components and the attainment of goals is dependent on a deliberate customized plan and hard work.
Resiliency
Resiliency is the capacity to recover and adjust to difficulties. Champions fall, hurt and fail just like us, but they have preset protocols to adapt and press on. Winners aren’t always the most intelligent or even the strongest athletes in the event. They are often the individuals who respond with the best adjustments after misfortunes.
“Great performances stem from a peaceful heart. So after mistakes, forgive yourself quickly.”
Goal Setting
Goal setting is the process of identifying something that you want to accomplish with measurable goals. Dreams are a great start, but the work begins when both specific performance improvement goals and outcome goals have action plans and target dates. Setting daily, monthly and long-term goals build the emotional strength you seek.
Sticking to Commitments
Commitments are obligations that restrict freedom of action. Staying loyal to a written action plan separates the champion from the part-time hobbyist. Hobbyists train when it’s convenient. Committed athletes put their sport above their social calendar.
Determination
Determination is the power to persist with a singular fixed purpose. Champions are stubbornly tenacious to reach their goals. Champions often begin as average athletes with abnormal determination.
Problem-Solving Skills
Identifying the problem is only the first step. Step two is to isolate the causes of the problem. Step three is then to customize the solution to the problem. Creative problem solving requires digging deeper rather than merely identifying the flaw.
“When dealing with gamesmanship, mature athletes do not give the drama more importance then intelligently remaining on script.”
Spotting Patterns and Tendencies
Patterns and tendencies are an individual’s predisposition to act repeatedly. Spotting reoccurring behavior is essential to understanding your strengths and weaknesses as well as defeating a worthy opponent.
Discipline
Discipline is behavior that is judged by how well it follows a set of rules. It is one of the most important emotional elements that turn dreams and goals into accomplishments. It often requires you to choose to train when you’d rather be socializing. Discipline is painful but not nearly as painful as losing to people you should be beating.
Sportsmanship
Sportsmanship is the underlying respect for the game, the rules governing the sport, the opponents and the officials. It’s giving it your all and playing with confidence and pride regardless of the outcome.
Focus
Focus is the ability to centralize your attention. Examples include adhering to short-term goals, such as a single play, point or game, all the way towards attaining long-term goals, such as playing a junior Grand Slam or being offered a college athletic scholarship.
“Improving involves cleaning out the clutter. Adding more isn’t always the answer. Often, solutions stem from doing less.”
Preparation Skills
The life skill of being prepared is especially important in athletics. Preparing properly for battle is one of the most neglected aspects of intermediate athletes. Success begins with total preparation. It is indeed the key to preventing a poor performance.
Persistence
Persistence is the continued passion for action in spite of opposition. You need constant energy devoted to your sport, anything less means that you’re a hobbyist. Persistence gets you to the top. Consistency with that persistent frame of mind keeps you there.
“Don’t confuse busy work with productive growth. Practice in the manner you are expected to perform.”
Dedication
Dedication is the quality of being committed to a purpose. Dedication to a sport requires passion and commitment to strive for daily improvement. Lazy, non-athletic people use the word “obsessed” to describe the dedicated athletes.
Positive Self-Image
Strong emotional aptitude starts with positive self-esteem. Trusting yourself is a key to competing freely. Changing the negative self-talk into positive internal dialog is a great start.
“Strong competitive character at crunch time stems from life lessons developed.”
The following chapter uncovers the importance of nurturing and motivating athletes, which involves changing negative attitudes and the unhealthy mental habits that are keeping them from reaching their potential.
