How did you get into comedy?
I was on maternity leave and, looking back, I may have been having a manic episode. I’d had a long string of admin jobs that I hated. Usually, it was the case that I didn’t know what my job was and nobody else did either. When I was 29, I thought: “I haven’t really done anything creative or put myself out there. Here I am with two kids, what am I doing?” So I signed up for an open mic night. I wasn’t going into comedy for the money – I wanted to see if I could do it.
What inspired your latest show, Emmaculate?
People have asked: “Is it about Madonna’s Immaculate Collection album?” No, it’s not. Although, I do nod to it because when I was in an all-girls school we had a talent show one year and the girl in the year ahead of us sang Like a Virgin. She was six months pregnant and we were all very judgy. I shouldn’t have been because that was me the following year.
“Immaculate”, when I was growing up, was the biggest compliment a woman could pay another woman, mother to mother. That her house was immaculate, her children were immaculate … while she was probably having a breakdown. So, that’s where it comes from and the show is all about family.
You’ve just added 18 extra shows to your tour. How does it feel to see that demand for your comedy?
It makes me feel sick. Basically, all I do all day is refresh ticket pages to see if it was a good idea.
Any preshow rituals?
I try to move my body because I’m naturally a sloth. Before gigs, I’m usually still in my coat, curled up in a ball and vaping. So I try to get up and do a few squats or something to get some blood pumping.
What’s one of the strangest fan encounters you’ve had?
One time, somebody took it upon themselves to come backstage and they brought cookies with my face on them. I learned from an older, more experienced comedian, that you never eat the food. So I had to bin them straight away, even though they did look nice.
Actually, what happens most is somebody on the street sees me and then I have to stand there while they explain to their friend who I am – and start showing them videos. It’s very awkward.
Any bugbears from the world of comedy?
There’s nothing worse than a dodgy mic. If I rock up to a venue and they say, “The thing about the mic is …” I just go, “Oh, God. Here we go.” That sends me into a decline.
Can you recall a gig so bad, it’s now funny?
I did a gig and the MC proposed to her girlfriend just before she brought me on. It was so bizarre. I often think of that MC and how they are getting on. I don’t think they ever got married … so it was needless.
What advice would you give your younger self?
I wouldn’t bother because she’d probably just look at me and say, “Who is this old woman?”, and try to bum a cigarette off me. I probably would just say to her keep going with the standup. But I’m sure she’d be like, “Yeah, I was going to do that anyway.”
Do you have any regrets?
Loads. Even as I’m sitting here, talking to you, I regret that I didn’t wash my hair last night and I’m going around with a big greasy mop.
Emma Doran: Emmaculate is on tour in the UK and Ireland until 24 April
