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Bill is a 6 foot lanky 14-year-old who is top 15 in Southern California. Tennis has come very easy to Bill. He is naturally athletic and much taller than his peers. Bill and his folks are convinced he’s on track to becoming an ATP Professional. He attends a local Tennis Academy, where he hits for 4 hours a day on the practice court, playing “catch” back and forth. He is also one of the best juniors at the academy.
Bill’s fundamental strokes are dynamite. He walks on-court cocky, smiling, and confident. During tournaments, however, when matches flip 180 degrees to a game of “keep away” Bill misses a few shots, begins to panic and turns into a completely different person. His verbal outbursts are self-belittling, and his body language and facial expressions are borderline crazy as tear roll down his cheeks.
After reviewing with Bill one of his so-called catastrophic losses, I asked him, “What are your thoughts about your performance?” Bill stated, “I played awful! I am so confused because I beat everyone in practice games, but in real tournament matches, if I miss an easy shot, I freak out and lose all belief. Man, I have no confidence in tough matches. Sometimes I get so upset that I can’t even find my strings and I turn into shank-zilla. What is wrong with me?”
If strokes and athleticism are the muscles and bones of the athlete, confidence and self-esteem are the heart and soul. Let’s go back in time and review the origins of the words: confidence and esteem.
In Latin, the word confidence means to trust. Self-confidence refers to the athlete’s inner-emotional ability. It’s their opinion of their aptitude to engage and compete successfully. A self-confident person is eager to take on challenges and seeks new opportunities.
In Latin, the word esteem means to appraise. Self-esteem refers to the athlete’s inner emotional view of their self-worth. Athletes with high self-esteem feel secure, confident, and worthwhile.
Nurtured self-confidence and self-esteem typically precede any real athletic accomplishments. Without these soft science skills, athletes often hold themselves back by inaction due to fear and uncertainties. The majorities of athletes do not include emotional training in their tennis development and are not nurtured how to believe in themselves. As a result, emotionally weak competitors often view competition as a high risk activity instead of an opportunity. Some players have tremendous athletic skills but just don’t trust their abilities.
Performing at one’s peak potential in practice is easy because the athletes are not keeping real score so they are aren’t being judged. In tournament competition, judgment is inherent. Once the umpire calls out “LETS PLAY,” mental and emotional fear-based interferences come into view.
Do you ever wonder why some athletes stand up and fight at crunch time, routinely seizing the moment, while others wilt due to self-doubt and lack of courage? The difference lies in their inner belief, confidence, self-trust, and self-esteem.
The following is a list of open-ended questions that will assist in assessing the underlying confidence and self-esteem within your athlete.
- Can peak performance coexist with having fun?
- If you’re focusing exclusively on your shortcomings, how does it help? Could it hurt?
- If you focused on solutions, how could that help?
- What is confidence?
- What does self-esteem have to do with your inner dialog?
- Why does practice in the manner you’re expected to perform make sense?
- What is needed to compete more confidently and comfortably?
- Are you willing to be uncomfortable in practice in order to be comfortable in matches?
- In competition, what is uncomfortable to you?
- Are you ready to push past your walls and test your limits?
- Where does mediocre training lead?
- What poor, unproductive choices can you turn down?
- Gamesmanship requires confrontation. How are you prepared to conquer your inner demons and then fight for your rights?
- How do you accept feeling fearful but focus and stay on script anyway?
- Why does healthy self-confidence lead to successful experiences?
- How do successful experiences lead to increased confidence?
Memories are Malleable
Over time, the mental images of an event shape one’s view of the situation and memories are created. We choose which “past movie” runs in our minds. With events like weddings, we forget the bad (Aunt Martha got up and sang “Feelings” with the band) and recall the good (Dad cried through the entire ceremony.)
In regards to athletic competition, we tend to do the polar opposite. We forget the good and magnify the bad. Frequently, over-zealous parents go to great lengths to document detailed laundry lists of their athlete’s match performance shortcomings and then proceed to review their findings with their athlete right after the match, which of course, disheartens the athlete. With persistent criticism, the athlete begins to build a subconscious, un-penetrable wall of memory recounting their failures. Confidence or lack thereof is malleable like our memory.
Reinforcing the behaviors you seek versus pointing out failures is in the athlete’s best interest. If your athletes can benefit from increased confidence, check out the following five solutions.
Starting a Brand New Memory System
- Ask the athlete to inventory their well-developed competitive tool belt.
These include life skills, positive character traits, morals, various game styles, primary strokes, secondary strokes, match day routines and rituals, mental skills, emotional skills, self-destruction skills etc. These well-developed tools are convincing reasons to be confident.
- Ask the athlete to complete a success journal.
They do so by going online and reviewing their positive tournament match success stories from the past few years. Re-living scenarios where they overcame hardship, conquered gamesmanship, performed at their peak performance level, stayed on script for the duration of the match, improved their statistical numbers, handled poor conditions, beat that pusher, took out a top seed, or won a title. These past success stories are incredibly motivational as they provide the leverage the athlete needs to build their inner trust. These accomplishments are significant, influential memories to journal and re-live.
- After a solid performance, ask the athlete to write a congratulations letter to them self.
Have them list in detail all the success in the four main components- strokes, athleticism, mental and emotional. Such as their strong strokes, their outstanding athleticism, their rock-solid strategies, as well as their triumphant emotional state. Ask them to reread the letter before matches and after losses. There are enough people in the world that will tell them that they can’t do it. Athletes don’t need themselves promoting the negative.
- Ask the athlete to complete a “life” gratitude checklist.
It’s almost impossible to continually focus on negative issues such as disappointments, problems, stress, and fear while simultaneously highlighting successes, positive attributes, and opportunities. Examples range from getting to play tennis, traveling to tournaments, owning the latest clothes and gear, eating well, sleeping well, loving pets, great friends, loving family and of course, their supportive coaches.
- Ask the athlete to design a brand new customized developmental plan.
Belief follows quality persistent, repetitive practicing in the manner they’re expected to perform. This training methodology is very different than hitting another basket of balls. An individual’s belief only changes after their routines change. Studies show that the athlete’s actual biochemistry changes if and when the athlete is willing to change their approach. New habits should become the athlete’s new focal point.
Make time to assist the athlete in writing down their five newly adapted memory systems. Encourage the athlete to record the appropriate memories into their cellular phone’s digital recorder app and listen to their brand new memory system nightly to help reinforce their new improved confidence and self-esteem.
Destroying old bad habits, technical, mental or emotional, is not a one-time fix. Re-programming skills and thought processes demand repetition. Confidence and self-esteem are mastered through daily exercises. Changing their memory system leads to increased self-confidence, which leads to successful experiences, and these successful experiences lead to even greater confidence. It becomes a powerful upward spiral that every athlete, parent, or coach seeks.